If you’ve been following my posts this month, you know I’ve been spending a lot of time looking out at the Burnaby skyspace from my 12th-floor windows.
There is something about having this much “view” that makes you realize how much we try to control the world from the inside out. I see the cranes moving, the blossoms fighting the wind, and the traffic rushing—and I notice a familiar sensation in my own body.
I notice that I’m holding my breath.
I call this the “Invisible Load.” It’s that weight we carry when we are in the middle of a big life transition. It’s the “What if?” and the “How?” and the “When?” that hums in the background of our minds like a refrigerator you’ve stopped noticing until it suddenly cuts out.
The Body’s Secret Armour
In my work as a coach, I don’t just look at what’s happening in your life; I look at what’s happening in your body.
When you are navigating change, your nervous system is on high alert. It doesn’t know the difference between a “career transition” and a literal physical threat. So, it does what it was designed to do: It braces.
It’s the shoulders that live up by your ears. It’s the jaw that’s so tight it aches by 4:00 PM. It’s the shallow breath that never quite reaches your belly.
This isn’t you “being stressed.” This is your body putting on a suit of armour to keep you safe. The problem? Armour is heavy. And wearing it 24/7 is why you feel so incredibly exhausted, even if you “didn’t do much” today.
You Can’t Think Your Way Out of a Braced Body
We’ve all tried to talk ourselves out of it, haven’t we? “Just relax. It’s fine. Everything is going to work out.”
But your nervous system doesn’t speak English. It speaks sensation. You can’t tell a braced body to relax any more than you can tell a flower to bloom faster. You have to show it that it’s safe to land.
The alchemy of change starts when we stop judging ourselves for being tense and start being curious about it. Instead of, “Why am I so tight?” try, “Oh, look at that. My body is trying really hard to protect me right now. Thank you, but we’re okay for this second.”
A Tiny Somatic “Reset”
I want to give you a tool you can use right now. No meditation app required.
- Notice your seat: Don’t just sit; feel the chair actually meeting your body. Let it take 10% more of your weight.
- Find the floor: Press your heels down into the ground. Feel that solidness? That’s the earth saying, “I’ve got you.”
- The Exhale: Take a breath in, and as you breathe out, imagine your shoulders melting just a tiny bit away from your ears.
That’s it. That’s a micro-moment of nervous system regulation. You aren’t “fixing” your life; you’re just giving your body a 30-second break from carrying the armour.
Ready to set the load down?
If you’ve been carrying your invisible load for a long time, please know you don’t have to carry it alone. I’ve designed the Overwhelm Reset Weekend to meet you exactly where you are.
Whether you want to join me for a Live Somatic Circle (Friday at 6:00 PM, or Saturday/Sunday at 10:00 AM PST) or you prefer the “Quiet Path” via your inbox, the choice is yours.
One link. One choice. No pressure. Let’s find your soft landing together.
Erika Patterson Empowerment Coach | Advocate for Women in Transition | Alchemist of Change Vancouver & Burnaby, BC | Serving Women Globally
