Category: Coaching Notes

🌀 The Spiral of Rest: A Week of Returning to Ourselves

by Erika Patterson | Overwhelm to Opportunity

There’s a point in the healing journey where forward motion softens into stillness.
Where the effort to understand gives way to the grace of simply being.

This is the spiral of rest — the quiet turning inward that reminds us we don’t have to heal through striving.

Rest isn’t the pause between what matters.
Rest is what matters.
It’s the sacred soil where integration takes root.

Last week, we explored “Embracing the Healing Spiral: You Are Not Behind.”
We named the truth that healing is not linear — that circling back doesn’t mean we’ve failed; it means we’re returning with more capacity, more compassion, more truth.

This week, we step into the next turn of that spiral — The Spiral of Rest.
A week devoted to slowing down, listening inward, and remembering that restoration is not earned — it’s allowed.

🌿 The Rhythm of the Spiral

Healing moves like breath — expansion and contraction, inhale and exhale.
The spiral teaches us this: integration is not achieved through constant doing.
It’s cultivated through the spaces between — the moments when we stop pushing and start receiving.

The world tells us to chase clarity, to keep producing, to fix ourselves faster.
But the spiral whispers a different truth:

“You don’t need to rush. You don’t need to force understanding. You just need to listen.”

Rest, then, becomes a quiet act of rebellion.
A refusal to measure our worth by momentum.
A return to the body, to the breath, to the simple tenderness of being here, now.

🦋 Rest as Resistance

Rest is not laziness — it’s leadership.
It’s how we reclaim the parts of ourselves that got buried beneath survival mode.

When we slow down, we meet the truths that speed kept us from feeling:
The ache beneath the accomplishment.
The longing beneath the list.

And in that stillness, something soft and holy begins to move.

This week, I invite you to rest not as escape, but as resistance.
To feel how revolutionary it is to choose gentleness in a culture of urgency.
To remember that rest is healing — it’s what allows our nervous systems, our hearts, and our spirits to recalibrate.

🌸 Returning to Capacity

The Spiral of Rest reminds us that we don’t expand through constant striving — we expand through restoration.
Every time we pause, breathe, and soften into what is, we’re building the inner room needed for what’s next.

So as we move through this week together, I invite you to notice:

  • What feels ready to rest?
  • What can be released without being resolved?
  • What parts of you are quietly exhaling after holding so much?

You don’t have to do this perfectly. You don’t have to do it fast.
You just have to let yourself be in the spiral — trusting that each gentle turn brings you home to yourself.

✨ Join the Spiral Week on Facebook

This week, we’ll explore rest in more depth, day by day.
I invite you to follow along on Facebook to see the week unfold and share your own moments of softness.

Each day, we’ll offer reflections, prompts, and gentle invitations to rest — a small act of resistance and a tender return to self.

Embracing the Healing Spiral: You Are Not Behind

Hi love,

I want to talk to you about something that comes up often in our sessions—especially this time of year.

It’s that moment when you say, “I thought I was past this.” “I should be further along.” “I feel like I’m back where I started.”

And I hear you. I’ve felt that too.

But here’s what I want you to know: You are not back at the beginning. You are spiraling deeper. And the spiral is sacred.

🌿 You’re Not Behind—You’re Becoming

We’ve been taught to measure healing in straight lines. Forward motion. Clear milestones. No turning back.

But healing doesn’t work like that. It spirals. It circles. It returns.

And every time you revisit something— an old wound, a forgotten truth, a tender part of yourself— you’re not regressing. You’re remembering.

You’re meeting that part of you with new eyes. With more softness. With more capacity to stay.

🦋 Softness Is Strength

I know it’s tempting to push through. To override the discomfort. To keep going.

But what if softness is the way forward?

What if the spiral is not a detour— but the path itself?

This season, I want to invite you to trust the spiral. To honor the return. To let yourself move slowly, and still know you’re growing.

🔄 Let’s Sit With This Together

If you’re feeling tender right now, if something old is resurfacing— you’re not alone.

Here are a few questions we can hold together:

  • What truth is asking to be heard again?
  • What part of me feels familiar—but deeper now?
  • What would it feel like to honor the spiral, not resist it?

Let these questions be companions. Let them guide you inward. Let them remind you: You are allowed to return. You are allowed to move slowly. You are allowed to grow in circles.

🕊️ You Are Brave

Some of the most powerful healing I’ve witnessed has come from women who stopped trying to move forward— and started listening inward.

This November, may you spiral with grace. May you return with tenderness. May you trust that your path, however winding, is holy.

You are not behind. You are in process. And the spiral is sacred.

With love,

Erika

You Don’t Have to Hold It All Alone

Hello lovely ladies,

There’s a story many of us carry — the story that says we have to hold everything together all by ourselves.

That the weight of responsibility, of care, of emotional labor, is ours alone to bear.

I remember a time not long ago when I felt that way myself. I was juggling so much—family needs, work pressures, and my own emotions—but I kept telling myself, “I have to do this on my own.” Asking for help felt like failure. But slowly, I realized that carrying everything alone was only making me more exhausted and distant from myself.

What if that’s not true?

What if, instead of carrying it alone, you could begin to share the load?

What if asking for help wasn’t a sign of weakness — but a radical act of courage and self-love?

The myth of solo strength

From early on, many of us are taught to be strong — to manage on our own, to push through, to not “burden” others.

It can feel like if we let go, everything will fall apart.

But in reality, holding everything inside isolates us. It drains our energy and dims our light.

True strength isn’t about doing it all alone.

True strength is knowing when to reach out.

Sharing the load starts with small steps

You don’t have to wait until the mountain feels insurmountable to ask for support.

It can be as simple as saying:

  • “I need a moment to breathe.”
  • “Can you help me with this?”
  • “I’m feeling overwhelmed today.”

Every time you share your truth, you give others permission to step in — and to be human, too.

You are not alone

Remember: you are part of a community, a circle, a web of connection.

You don’t have to do this on your own.

You don’t have to be the only one holding the pieces.

If you’re tired of carrying invisible weight alone, take a breath — and begin to lean in.

A gentle invitation

If you’re feeling stretched thin, remember my Overwhelm Reset — a gentle 3-day email experience.

You don’t have to carry it all alone.

Support is here — and you deserve it.

👉 Join the Overwhelm Reset

With love,

Erika

© Erika Patterson Coaching 2025. All rights reserved.

Decluttering Your Mind: Release Limiting Beliefs

We often think of decluttering as something we do with closets and calendars. But the most powerful clearing happens inside—within our thoughts, habits, and emotional patterns.

Letting go isn’t just about removing what’s outdated.
It’s about making sacred space for what’s aligned.

🧠 The Mental Clutter We Carry

We carry beliefs that were once survival tools—but now act as silent saboteurs:

  • “I have to do it all myself.”
  • “Rest is lazy.”
  • “If I slow down, I’ll fall behind.”

These thoughts become mental furniture—familiar, but no longer functional. They crowd our inner space, leaving little room for creativity, intuition, or joy.

Letting go of these mindsets doesn’t mean forgetting your past.
It means honoring your evolution and choosing thoughts that reflect your becoming.

🔁 Routines That No Longer Serve

Routines can be grounding—or they can become cages.

Ask yourself:

  • Does this habit energize me or drain me?
  • Am I doing this out of alignment or obligation?
  • What would shift if I gave myself permission to do it differently?

Letting go of outdated routines is an act of self-respect.
It’s saying, “I trust myself to evolve.”

💫 Emotional Weight & Energetic Space

Some of the heaviest clutter we carry is invisible:

  • Guilt for resting
  • Resentment from overgiving
  • Fear of disappointing others
  • Shame for needing help

These burdens live in our nervous systems. They shape how we breathe, how we speak, how we show up. And when we release them—through breathwork, journaling, movement, or simply naming them—we create room for joy, clarity, and connection.

Letting go is not a one-time event.
It’s a sacred rhythm of release and renewal.

🧘🏽‍♀️ The Deeper Why

We cling to what’s familiar because it gives us a sense of control.
But control is not the same as safety.
And certainty is not the same as peace.

Letting go asks us to trust the unknown.
To believe that what’s waiting for us is more nourishing than what we’re leaving behind.

It’s not about giving up.
It’s about giving yourself back.

🌱 A Gentle Invitation

This week, choose one thing to release:

  • A belief
  • A habit
  • A “should”

Then ask:
“What am I making space for?”
 Let that answer guide your next step.

If you’d like support in exploring what’s ready to be released, I offer free 30-minute Clarity Calls. It’s a space to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what matters most. You can book one here or simply reply to this post with a ✨ if you’re curious.

And I’d love to hear from you:
What’s one thing you’re ready to let go of this week?
 Drop it in the comments or DM me—I read every message.

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The Hidden Costs of Emotional Labor: Recognizing Your Burden

How Emotional Labor Silently Weighs Us Down — and How to Begin Releasing It

There’s a kind of weight many women carry that no one else sees.

It doesn’t show up in bloodwork or MRIs.
It’s not tracked in calendars or covered by sick days.

But it’s real.
And it’s heavy.

It’s the weight of being the one who holds everything —
the one who remembers the appointments, smooths the conflicts, anticipates the needs, and keeps it all together.

It’s emotional labor.

And it quietly builds, year after year…
until one day, you can’t ignore the ache anymore.

What Emotional Labor Actually Is

Emotional labor isn’t just managing emotions.
It’s managing everyone else’s emotions — while putting your own on hold.

It looks like:

• Smiling when you’re tired or hurting
• Taking on responsibilities because “no one else will”
• Keeping the peace at the expense of your own peace
• Remembering, softening, stretching, over-giving — and rarely being thanked for it

Most of us learned this so young, we thought it was just what love looked like.

We believed it was our job to hold everything — and everyone.

But here’s the truth:
Just because you can carry it doesn’t mean you have to.

The Hidden Cost

The cost of carrying it all isn’t always loud.
Most of the time, it’s quiet.

It shows up in subtle, persistent ways:

• Exhaustion that rest can’t fix
• Resentment that bubbles up when you least expect it
• A voice you can barely hear anymore
• Tight shoulders, clenched jaw, shallow breath
• Feeling invisible in your own life

It’s easy to dismiss these things.
To tell yourself you’re just tired. Or hormonal. Or being “too sensitive.”

But these aren’t flaws.
They’re signals.

Whispers from the parts of you that are tired of being overlooked — even by you.

You’re Not Broken — You’re Overburdened

If any of this feels familiar, I want you to know:

You’re not behind.
You’re not broken.
You’re not “too much.”
And you’re not “not enough.”

You’ve been doing too much for too long in a world that calls that strength.

But something in you is waking up.

You’re beginning to notice what no longer fits —
and what was never yours to carry in the first place.

Three Gentle Ways to Begin Letting Go

This isn’t about dropping everything overnight.

It’s about beginning — slowly, kindly, in your own time.

Here are three quiet ways to start:

1. Notice without judgment.

Start with your body.
Where are you holding tension?
Ask gently: Is this mine to carry?

2. Say no without apology.

Let your no be simple.
You don’t need a reason or a story.
Your no is enough.

3. Offer yourself the same grace you offer others.

You’ve been showing up for everyone else.
Can you start showing up for you, too?
Even a little?

Even one breath.
One boundary.
One honest no.

You were never meant to carry it all.

You were meant to move through the world rooted, clear, and connected —
not weighed down by invisible expectations.

This month, I invite you to set something down.
Even one small thing.

There is strength in your softness.
There is freedom in your pause.
There is power in naming what you will no longer hold.

You don’t have to do this alone.
This space — and this work — is here for you.

✨ Want a gentle place to begin?

I made this for you:
Finding Clarity – A Gentle Start to Reclaiming Yourself

A quiet invitation to reconnect with your own rhythm, needs, and voice.

Start your Clarity Journey

Or simply begin by exhaling.
You’re already on your way.

© Erika Patterson Coaching 2025. All rights reserved.

Breathe and Let Go: A Guide to Self-Awareness

That moment when you say “yes” too fast…
When you offer to help before checking in with yourself…
When you clean, plan, or fix instead of feel…

✨ That’s not just behaviour. It’s a nervous system pattern.

You may not need more effort.
You may need more exhale.

Try This Today: A Gentle Grounding Exercise to Ease Overwhelm

  1. Find a quiet, comfortable space where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes. Sit or lie down in a way that feels supportive to your body.
  2. Place one hand on your chest—feel the rise and fall of your breath there. Place your other hand on your belly. Notice the subtle expansion with each inhale. Feel the soft release with each exhale.
  3. Close your eyes (if that feels safe) and take a slow, deep breath in through your nose, counting to four. Feel your chest and belly gently lift.
  4. Exhale slowly through your mouth, counting to six, allowing your body to soften and settle with the out-breath.
  5. Repeat this breathing cycle 3-5 times, tuning into the sensations under your hands, anchoring you in the present moment.
  6. Now, gently ask yourself:
    “What am I trying to control right now?”
    Without judgment or expectation, notice whatever thoughts, feelings, or sensations arise. You might feel tension, tightness, or even an urge to push those feelings away — let them be there.
  7. Next, ask:
    “What can I gently let go of?”
    Imagine your breath carrying away any tightness, any need to fix, any heaviness you don’t need to carry. Invite a soft release — even if it’s just a small piece.
  8. Take one last deep breath. Feel gratitude for your body’s wisdom and the space you’ve created. Listen and respond with kindness.

This simple practice reconnects you to your body’s signals. It offers a pathway to ease — one breath at a time.

You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to be willing to pause and listen.

I’d love to hear how this practice feels for you. Share your experience in the comments. You can also send me a message. Let’s support each other in learning to rest well.

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“The Strong One” Isn’t Always Okay

Overfunctioning is tricky — because it’s praised.
You’re reliable. You’re capable. You handle things.
People come to you because you can.

But just because you can… doesn’t mean you should.

And just because you’re holding it all… doesn’t mean it’s not hurting you.

🌱 This is your reminder:
You don’t have to earn your rest.
You don’t have to hold everything to be worthy.
You’re allowed to be human, too.

Journal Prompt
💬 When was the last time you let yourself put something down?

Overcoming Overwhelm: Finding Clarity Amidst Chaos

Sometimes, it looks like smiling through the storm.

Saying yes when your body is screaming no.

Getting through the day but forgetting how to breathe.

If this feels familiar… you’re not alone.

This week, I’m diving into the hidden layers of overwhelm — and how we begin again with breath, boundaries, and micro-moments of clarity.

Stick with me. It’s not about overhauling everything.

It’s about starting here.

Embrace Your True Self: Coaching for Personal Growth

— and maybe, the beginning of something new for you.

If this series stirred something in you…

If you recognized pieces of yourself in the stories…

If you’ve been nodding along, quietly thinking,

“That’s me. I’ve been holding back. I’ve been disappearing…”

Then I want you to know: you’re not alone. And you’re not stuck.

You don’t have to live in the loop of people-pleasing, perfectionism, or self-abandonment anymore.

✨ There is another way — one that is grounded, gentle, and rooted in you.

Your truth. Your needs. Your becoming.

If you’re ready to explore what that looks like with support, I have a few coaching spaces opening this month.

This isn’t about fixing you — you’re not broken.

This is about coming home to yourself.

💌 Comment below “I’m ready” if you want to talk about what working together would look like.

No pressure, just a real, heart-led conversation.

You deserve a life that feels like yours. 💜

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