The Season of Disguise
October is the month of masks—plastic fangs, glittered eye patches, and cloaks that let us play pretend. But long after Halloween ends, many of us continue wearing masks that no one can see. These aren’t costumes for parties—they’re the personas we adopt to survive, succeed, or simply belong.
We wear them at work, in relationships, online. We smile when we’re hurting. We nod when we disagree. We perform, even when we crave rest. And most of the time, we don’t even realize we’re doing it.
The Invisible Masks We Wear
Some masks are easy to spot: the “perfect parent,” the “always-on professional,” the “chill friend” who never gets upset. Others are more subtle: the silence we keep to avoid conflict, the enthusiasm we fake to be liked, the self we shrink to make others comfortable.
These masks aren’t inherently bad. In fact, they often serve a purpose:
- 🛡️ Protection: We hide vulnerability to avoid judgment or rejection.
- 🎭 Performance: We play roles to meet expectations or gain approval.
- 🧩 Adaptation: We shift our identity to fit into different environments.
But over time, these masks can become so fused to our faces that we forget what’s underneath.
Why We Hide
We learn early that authenticity can be risky. Maybe we were told we were “too much” or “too sensitive.” Maybe we were praised for being agreeable, quiet, or helpful—and internalized that as our value.
So we shape-shift. We become what others need us to be. And in doing so, we sometimes lose sight of who we really are.
The Cost of Constant Camouflage
Wearing a mask too long can lead to:
- 😞 Emotional exhaustion
- 😶 Disconnection from self
- 😔 Difficulty forming deep relationships
- 😤 Resentment or burnout
It’s not just about pretending—it’s about the slow erosion of authenticity.
The First Step: Awareness
Before we can take off the mask, we have to notice it. Ask yourself:
- When do I feel most like myself?
- When do I feel like I’m performing?
- What am I afraid will happen if I show up unfiltered?
These questions aren’t easy—but they’re essential.
Invitation: A Gentle Unmasking
This week, try this:
Journal Prompt: “What mask do I wear most often—and why?” Write freely. No edits. No judgment. Just honesty.
You might be surprised by what surfaces.
Closing Thought
Masks aren’t always bad. Sometimes they help us survive. But we deserve more than survival—we deserve connection, truth, and the freedom to be fully seen. This October, let’s begin the slow, brave work of unmasking.
Erika Patterson Coaching 